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I Lost My Body

2019

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A severed hand crawls across the floor of a Parisian laboratory. It’s not the incipit of a horror story, nor the macabre gag of a black comedy. It is the beginning of a small-scale Odyssey, a sensory epic that turns our perspective on its head and forces us to reconsider the relationship between the parts and the whole, between memory and the flesh. With this image, as grotesque as it is poetic, Jérémy Clapin doesn't just present the premise of his debut feature, "I Lost My Body", but defines an entire aesthetic and philosophical agenda: to chronicle the fragmentation of being in an age of disconnection, starting from the most literal and corporeal of fragments.

The film, an adaptation of the novel "Happy Hand" by Guillaume Laurant (yes, the very same co-writer of The Fabulous Destiny of Amélie Poulain, a detail that proves anything but coincidental), immediately bifurcates into two distinct narrative lines, destined for a fatal convergence. On one side, in a raw and tactile black and white, we follow the hand’s desperate and adventurous escape. A picaresque journey through the perils of the metropolis—ravenous pigeons, aggressive rats in the bowels of the metro, the pouring rain—that takes on the feel of a silent film, a survival movie where every surface, every obstacle, every sound is perceived with an almost primordial purity. The hand does not see, but remembers through touch: sand evokes a distant childhood, piano keys a halted passion, the fabric of a dress a nascent love. It is a cinema of synesthesia, where touch becomes memory, and memory becomes the engine of the action.

On the other, in full color, unfolds the flashback narrative of Naoufel, the young man to whom the hand once belonged. A Moroccan orphan transplanted to a cold and indifferent Paris, Naoufel is the embodiment of a youth adrift. A pizza delivery boy by necessity, a dreamer by vocation, his existence is a catalogue of failures and missed opportunities. He lives in a limbo, suspended between the trauma of losing his parents—musicians and scientists, an almost mythological union of art and reason—and a future he cannot seem to shape. His is not the romanticized, stylized loneliness of more conventional French cinema; it is a tangible solitude, made of squalid apartments, of failed dialogues through an intercom, and of an ineptitude that renders him almost invisible to the world.

Here, the contrast with the Laurant/Jeunet universe emerges powerfully. If Amélie painted a dreamy Paris, a picture-postcard Montmartre inhabited by eccentric and benevolent characters, Clapin’s Paris is its photographic negative. It is a city of grey suburbs, precarious jobs, and urban loneliness. Jeunet’s chromatic optimism and whimsy give way to a desaturated palette and an almost documentary-like realism. It is as if Clapin took the same genetic material—a maladjusted protagonist in search of connection—to conduct an opposite experiment, proving that the same city can be, depending on one's gaze, a magical place or an open-air prison. Naoufel is no Amélie; he doesn't manipulate the fate of others to feel less alone, but is himself tossed about by a destiny that seems to have had him in its crosshairs since childhood.

The narrative proceeds by juxtaposition, creating a constant dialogue between the hand’s miniature epic and Naoufel’s existential drama. While the hand overcomes physical trials that attest to its resilience and will, Naoufel succumbs to his own inertia. His encounter with the librarian Gabrielle, which happens by chance thanks to a pizza order and an intercom, becomes the catalyst for a change. Naoufel, for the first time, acts: he gets himself hired as an apprentice carpenter by her uncle, not so much out of a passion for the craft, but to orbit around that single, possible source of light. It's a clumsy, almost pathetic attempt to force destiny's hand, to divert a trajectory that already seems written.

Clapin's film is a profound examination of the nature of fate and free will, a theme that runs through the narrative in recurring metaphors. The fly, which Naoufel obsessively tries to catch, represents chaos, the unpredictable that escapes all control. The tape recorder, on which he records the sounds of the world, is his attempt to order that chaos, to give it a shape, a sequence. The film’s true ontological question, however, is contained in a dialogue with Gabrielle: is it possible to change your destiny? Can you "outwit fate" with an unexpected gesture, a "leap" into the void? Naoufel tries, but every attempt to control events seems to lead him closer to the inevitable accident that will deprive him of his hand, and with it, his identity as a pianist, a carpenter, a man capable of "doing."

Clapin’s animation, achieved with a hybrid technique that superimposes 2D drawing onto 3D models, is fundamental to the work’s success. It lends the characters and environments a weight, gravity, and physicality rare in animated cinema, setting it apart from both the polished perfection of Pixar and the graphic stylization of the Land of the Rising Sun. The result is a work that breathes, in which you can feel the grain of reality. This visual tactility is the perfect counterpart to the hand’s sensory quest and Naoufel’s bodily alienation, an almost Kafkaesque echo of a body that no longer recognizes itself as its own. It is Frankenstein in reverse: not an assembled body in search of a soul, but a fragmented soul in search of its body.

The hand, in this sense, becomes a Lacanian "partial object," the missing piece that symbolizes a far more profound loss. Its quest is not just for a physical reunion, but for meaning, for the origin of its trauma. And when it finally reaches Naoufel, we do not witness a miraculous reunion. The hand settles beside the sleeping body, observes it, and its journey ends. The reunion isn't the solution, because the physical separation was never the problem. Naoufel was the problem.

The open-ended and powerful finale elevates the film from an excellent animated drama to a philosophical masterpiece. After "re-watching" the entire chain of events that led to the accident through the hand's "eyes," Naoufel finally makes his "leap." He launches himself from a crane to a nearby roof, a crazy gesture, an act of faith in the unknown. And, for the first time, he smiles. It is not a smile of happiness, but of liberation. He has stopped fighting destiny and has chosen to accept the fall, the loss, the mutilation. He has understood that to feel whole again, he first had to accept being in pieces. In letting go of the hand, Naoufel may not find his body again, but he most certainly finds himself. In an age that demands we be high-performing, complete, and connected, "I Lost My Body" reminds us of the subversive beauty of fragility and the cathartic power hidden in accepting our own, irreparable, fractures.

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